Hay House Radio Episode Recap
- Episode Name: “Your Roadmap from Trauma to Peace”
- Live Broadcast: September 12th, 2017 at 3:00 pm Pacific Time
Episode Summary Re-cap
Childhood trauma. Depression. Addiction. A dismal diagnosis. After experiencing challenge after challenge, Gurds Hundal decided to make some radical life changes. Leaving her coveted job in media, she took a journey of self-love and healing. She will reveal the tipping point that motivated her transformation and the steps she took to change her life. Today is the day we rewrite your story too.
Gurds Hundal is a British inspirational speaker, transformational life coach and author. She guides people to step into their authentic power, and design extraordinary lives that make them feel emotionally and spiritually happy.
Gurds empowers her clients to shine into their light through the art of self-love, forgiveness with a holistic blend of spirituality.
As a coach, she believes that lasting shifts result from creating a loving space filled with raw honesty, practicality and down to earth advice in a positive, empowering manner. Gurds has a contagious energy and love for life, a quality that encourages her clients to fall in love with their journey as a spiritual warrior.
Over the first 20 years of her life, Gurds endured a series of traumatic events including: childhood trauma, depression, regeneration of her left arm and much more. She openly shares how she overcame these traumas to transform her thinking, rewire her mindset, find peace within, and embrace a zest for life.
Gurds is an inspiring real-life example of everything she teaches. She hosts the Get Inspired With Gurds podcast, where she brings inspirational interview with a guests who have shifted their lives in areas of spirituality, health, or mindset.
Watch the After-Show of Loving Yourself to Great Health!
We reveal tips for finding out who you really are, what to do if you are a Generational Pattern Shifter, how to trust your intuition, and how to deal with toxic people and narcissists.
10 Steps for Moving From Trauma to Peace With Gurds Hundal
#1 – Write Down the Patterns In Your Life
Gurds wrote a 30-page document detailing her life, which took about 7 hours. If you’re not a writer like Gurds, consider writing down the main events, actions, and outcomes in your life over the years. The important thing is to notice the patterns that keep playing over and over again. Things like not loving yourself, choosing the wrong friends and signficant others, not setting boundaries, over-giving, over-working, saying yes when you want to say no, where you didn’t take action when you truly wanted to, etc. Notice which family patterns and limiting beliefs keep showing up.
#2 – Clear the Air
Once Gurds saw the patterns that she kept repeating, she began to call friends, ex-boyfriends, and others in her life to clear the air between them. This can be a wonderful opportunity for both parties to forgive one another. For some people, you may want to go through some of the other steps before you’re ready to have these challenging conversations. On the other hand, if you’re ready, this can be very freeing! Follow your intuition, and don’t let fear stop you from taking this step!
#3 – Learn to Love Yourself
If you grew up learning that taking care of yourself or loving yourself is selfish, it’s time to start changing those beliefs. If you don’t love yourself, it’s as if you are walking around in a depleted state. It’s hard to give what you don’t know, understand, or have inside. Loving yourself can be one of the best gifts you can give others, because from a place of self-love, you naturally have more genuine love to give. Gurds benefitted from mirror work, looking into her eyes and saying things like: I love you, and you are worthy of love. She caught herself in negative thinking and self-doubt and turned her thoughts around with positive affirmations. You can even start with something like: “I am open to loving myself” or “Every day, I get better and better at loving myself.”
#4 – Learn to Say No
Set boundaries. This is critical if you are doing to stop over-giving and depleting yourself. Gurds described this as feeling drained by people all the time. Listen to your intuition – that feeling in your gut or that small whisper in your head. Or maybe, it’s a feeling of fatigue just thinking about doing something you don’t want to do. Perhaps it’s a knot in your stomach or an icky feeling. Listen to this and trust it. The more you trust your intuition, the more you are trusting your SELF. Your own voice. Setting boundaries also allows you to re-energize, as Gurds described in her own story. She removed the drains and started filling her own cup, gaining energy and finding out who she really was inside. The fringe benefit? The toxic, manipulative people who only wanted her for what she did for them fell away (angry that she had boundaries) and kinder, more authentic, and more supportive friends showed up. This may seem scary at first, to see friends get angry or to feel like you don’t have anyone in your life who supports you, but when you close the door on those drains, you open the door for the friends you truly want in your life.
#5 – Heal Your Inner Child
This one is so fun! Choose the things you love doing, like painting, dancing, cycling, being with friends who love to laugh. This is pure joy. We can all use more fun in our lives and fun is a source of inspiration, and therefore, energy! Ask yourself: what would be pure joy for me to do? How can I bring more fun into my life? Who are the friends I can have fun with?
#6 – Forgive Yourself
Most of us learn to look over our past with guilt and shame. There were things we “should” have done, actions we should have taken, people we should or should not have trusted. This is part of being human. On our journey, we take the wrong path, make mistakes. Forgive yourself for these. I bet you have things you’ve done really well too and choices that have been wonderful. Have you spent time celebrating those? Maybe not. We humans are often taught to only focus on the negative. What if you changed that? What if you said to yourself: I forgive you, you were doing the best you could at the time. And I love you. I am making new choices today. I will always love you.”
#7 – Stop Repeating Limiting Family Patterns
Gurds began to notice the patterns her parents had passed down to her. Mostly, she noticed that her mother and grandmother were strong women who never let things go. They’d hold onto resentment or feeling wronged for a long time. This is why forgiveness and self-love were such important lessons for her. I noticed that Gurds is a generational pattern shifter, not only because of how she approached her healing journey, but because she also had health issues show up after going to visit her homelands in India. This is often a sign of a generational pattern shifter. We talked about how she stepped forward to stop family patterns and as she does this, she is healing past generations of her family, along with future generations. While this sounds woo woo, it’s based in science because the study of epigenetics (what happens outside our genes that determines our health) has revealed that emotions, moods, energetic sensitivity, and patterns are passed through DNA, in addition to a blueprint for our health. When one family member steps forward to change these patterns, they have the opportunity to shift symptoms and patterns for the entire family. These folks often set off a ripple effect of healing others as they role model new behaviors and share new health strategies.
#8 – Get Clear About Your Goals
Write down what you want to accomplish or how you want to feel. Be clear about it so that you can take steps toward what you want in your life. Most people are clear about what they don’t want, but are not at all clear about what they really want, deep inside. Meditate, journal, or spend quiet time asking yourself what you really want. Then write it down and take action on it.
#9 – Keep a Gratitude Journal
We hear about this one a lot. And you know why? Because it works! Gurds found this to be an excellent strategy in her life. She would journal about her day and then create a list of all of the things she was grateful for that day. This is one more way to focus. You are focusing on what went well and what you want to celebrate. How often do we naturally do this? This is incredibly healing because – remember – positive thoughts have an epigenetic effect on our health. They relieve stress and make us feel good, which we now know from science, is more healing than we had thought!
#10 – Let Go of Toxic People
Very likely, we’ve all had the wrong person or people in our lives. While forgiveness is a key part of letting go and moving on, it doesn’t mean you have to keep them in your life. If someone is constantly being mean, manipulating you, running over your boundaries, putting you down, or not giving you support after you’ve been there for them, this may be a toxic or draining person. If you’ve tried repairing the relationship and nothing has changed, it’s time to let go. Even if it’s just a sabbatical for a period of time, allow yourself some space and distance to see how you feel. Remember, closing the door on these people allows you to open the door for more supportive relationships.
If you think the toxic person in your life is an emotional manipulator or narcissist, you can learn additional steps to take here:
- Toxic Relationships: How to Heal
- Toxic Relationships Part 2: Heal Your Mind
- A great resource for recovery from toxic relationships and narcissistic abuse is SwanWaters.
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Tune in Next Week
Tune in next week to Loving Yourself to Great Health, when I share solutions for Joint Pain, Arthritis & Fibromyalgia. Some of you may have been told, “it’s all in your head.” Today, we’re going to turn the ship around, revealing solutions to nuture your body back to health. Learn tips to feel well again and say goodbye to pain.
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Photo credit: Joel Dauteuil
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