Hay House Radio Episode Recap
- Episode Name: “Reconnecting to Love After Trauma”
- Live Broadcast: February 13th, 2018 at 12:00 pm Pacific Time
Episode Summary Re-cap
What happens when an emotional or physical trauma occurs and your whole life falls apart? How do you find the faith and courage to put the pieces back together? Maybe you feel someone betrayed you. Maybe you feel your body betrayed you. How do you learn to love and trust again? Today, we’re going to talk about putting the pieces back together again. I’ll reveal a series of steps you can take to breathe the language of love back into your body, mind, and spirit. You’ll learn why these tips support healing at an epigenetic level and why they may be the most powerful tools we have. We’ll also do a Native American medicine healing meditation.
8 Steps for Reconnecting to Love After Trauma
About 8 years ago, I began studying epigenetics. I’d look at my client’s DNA reports and as I listened to their symptoms, I’d begin to match the symptoms with the potential gene variances for us to work on with nutrition, supplements and lifestyle adjustments. The more I dug into the research, the more I found in scientific studies verifying that emotions, behaviors, and trauma also get passed through the genes. For example, studies show that descendants of Holocaust survivors have altered stress hormones that may predispose them to anxiety disorders. This study is one of many human epigenetic studies that show how trauma in one generation can be passed on to the next. Having had my own experience with intergenerational trauma as a Native American woman, finding the science behind what I had experienced in my own life was eye-opening.
As I learned this, I began to use a series of steps related to reconnection at the DNA-level, as part of the work I did with clients. These steps are particularly relevant because let’s say we begin with a trauma passed down from another generation and it predisposes us to anxiety. Now, a new trauma occurs, perhaps it’s a diagnosis of cancer or a toxic relationship. The stress created by these experiences can further contribute to health challenges, like a snowball effect. So how do we stop the snowballing and resolve the trauma or health challenge?
#1 – Become Aware Of The Story You Are Telling Yourself And Create A New Story
This includes the story about your health, your relationships (significant other, family, and friends), and your life situation. Many times, if you take time to listen to the narrative going on in your head or the stories you are telling others about your life, you may become aware of the content you are focusing on. Are you telling a story of doom or a story of hope? Is the content of your story about what’s wrong or what’s right? When you tell a story about your health, are you focused on illness or the possibility of health? What you can’t do or what you can do?
Writing a new story, one that focuses on the empowering aspects of your life and health, can often shift your perspective. Your body believes what your mind thinks, so often, you can change your health – even at the DNA level through epigenetics – just by focusing on what’s already healthy and your body’s innate ability to heal. I love to start my client relationships by having them write their empowering story as a vision, which I encourage you to do as well. Using my vison exercise as a guide, you can write your vision of how you want to feel every day. You can also write your vision of your ideal love relationship! I have seen several clients find their soulmate or even turn their spouse into their ideal soulmate just by writing their vision of what a loving, ideal relationship looks and feels like.
I’ve also seen clients accelerate their healing through creating a vision of their ideal health. As you write your vision and then visualize or read it daily, your body and life responds to the energy you create. This is one of the keys to my own healing process, including healing my marriage, my health, and moving into a business I love.
To learn more, read: Can You Heal By Changing Your Story?
#2 – Identify If You Are A Generational Pattern Shifter
Some of you have stepped forward as Generational Pattern Shifters, here to stop perpetuating negative patterns passed down in the DNA of families. In essence, a Generational Pattern Shifter experiences a major health issue or trauma and through your healing process, you heal the Sacred Family – your own family and generations before and after you.
There is typically one Generational Pattern Shifter in each family, and it’s often the oddball or the person who chooses the path less taken. If this is you, you are likely reviving an ancient medicine lineage in your ancestry. Because the markers for this lineage remain in your DNA, you are attracted to complementary medicine, herbal or natural remedies, and spirituality as a path toward healing. Learn if you are a generational pattern shifter and if so, steps you can take in your healing journey.
#3 – Call Upon Your Ancestors For Solutions
Your ancestors and guides are always here for you. In Chinese medicine, they say that if you need support, feel your ancestors’ hands on your lower back, supporting your kidneys and your will to move forward. This is to remind you that you don’t have to use up all your willpower and can call on your ancestors for support. In Native American culture, we believe our ancestors are in the first 5 feet of the soil, so standing on Mother Earth and calling upon our ancestors is a very powerful practice.
It’s also powerful to learn more about your ancestors. Ask your family to tell stories of grandparents, great grandparents. Look at old pictures. If you had oddballs or medicine people, what were they like and what were their stories?
Research where your ancestors came from or if you know their descent, find out what people were eating in those cultures fifty to one hundred years ago. These foods are likely to be very healing for you because they kept your ancestors strong. Your DNA is comprised of their DNA, passed down through generations. The health issues we manifest today are a result of a propensity to have those challenges in your DNA. However, your ancestors were more connected to the land, their intuition, and cooking from scratch, which gave them a huge advantage in nourishing their DNA properly. Eating the way they ate allows you to bring that healing language back into your body.
#4 – Reconnect
What have you disconnected from?Often, when we have disconnected from ourselves and from love, we have also disconnected from important aspects of life and our culture that reminded us of who we are, why we’re here and why we are loveable. Some examples are our connection to the earth, rituals, ceremonies, our language, and prayers that are culturally relevant.
When you think about reconnecting to love, think about the simplest steps you can take. Placing your feet on the earth and feeling the healing vibration. Feeling how Mother Earth is always there for you. Or taking part in a daily ritual that feels nourishing. Louise Hay always taught mirror work with affirmations as a daily ritual. Simply standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself: “I love you. I really love you,” can be a transformative experience.
Studies show that speaking your language reconnects you to subtle meanings of words spoken over generations of your family. Taking part in culturally relevant prayers and ceremonies does the same – it reconnects you to the routines that your ancestors used to stay grounded and connected to themselves, their higher purpose, and the Creator.
#5 – Gather Your Family Of Choice Around You
An 80-year Harvard University study showed that it was good relationships with your community that made all the difference in health, happiness, and longevity…not your genes! Who are the important people in your life? If your family of origin has fallen apart in some way, you can still bring a family of choice around you. These are the people who remind you of how loveable you are, just as you are. With these people, you feel supported, you trust them and they have your back. If you haven’t yet taken time to cultivate a family of choice and you have trauma or health issues, seek out people you can laugh with (laughter through tears can be so healing!), talk to, lean on and support through their challenges as well. Remember to focus on friends who are equals in giving and receiving, especially if you’ve been used to over-giving. Learning to thrive in equal relationships is nourishing for you and also sets the stage for a healthy relationship with your significant other.
#6 – Listen to your body
Your body – your heart, gut and right brain, are sources of intuition. You get a gut feeling or want to follow your heart and there’s a reason for this: your heart and gut are made from the same primal tissue as your brain. Your heart comes online first as you develop in the embryo stage, then your gut, then your brain. They are connected by the vagus nerve, which acts as an information superhighway among them, sending information 24/7. The cool thing about your heart and gut, is that they reside deep in your body and only operate based on your unique Sacred Path. They don’t know how to follow the rules, they only know how to signal you with what’s right or wrong for you. If you’re in a relationship and start having gut issues, it may be a signal that your body wants you to listen. Maybe this person isn’t right for you, or it’s time to speak up and ask for what you need. Trust your body to guide you. Act on the gut feelings you are getting and notice what happens to your health.
To learn more about listing to your body, read: How to Listen to Your Body and Intuition.
#7 – Heal Your Gut And Strengthen Your Body
There are three simple steps you can take to nourish your gut and support gut-health. When your gut is healthy, your heart and brain are set up for better health because they rely on your gut for nourishment. Interestingly, a healthy gut often leads to a clear mind and better thinking. This is why many people feel like brain fog, depression, and anxiety go away as their gut heals. The first step is to eat more home cooked meals from whole foods. The less packaged foods, sugar, and gluten you eat, the better your body will feel. On top of this, there are two supplements that help to accelerate gut-healing: vitamin B12 and minerals. A large number of people are deficient in both.
Especially if you are energetically sensitive, psychic, or intuitive, these supplements are key because they help nourish your nervous system and keep you feeling grounded, strong, and supported. Start with a sublingual vitamin B12, like Jarrow Methyl B12 Lozenges at 500 mcg., and slowly build up to 5000 mcg of vitamin B12 if you have a chronic health issue, like addiction, depression, MS, Lyme or an autoimmune condition. You may have “startup” symptoms as your body starts healing. You may notice tingling from your nerves healing, or bowel changes. This is why I recommend going low and slow as your body heals and the myelin sheath around your nerves heal.
At least 80% of people are mineral deficient. If you feel fatigued, anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, or more stressed than you used to be, you are likely feeling symptoms of mineral deficiency. You can use sea salt (1/4 tsp in 2 cups water with the juice of ½ lemon) for a nice adrenal cocktail or add a dropperful of Anderson’s Sea MD split up across your daily glasses of water. Some people will need 2 dropperfuls of Anderson’s to start feeling strong and grounded again.
#8 – Get Clear On Your Needs And Speak Up
As you listen to your body, heal your gut and get clear on your needs, it’s important to set healthy boundaries. At work, healthy boundaries can mean not taking on more than you can handle each day (not overworking!). In your personal life, it means not over-giving or overdoing for others out of obligation. Boundaries are the lines you draw in the sand about what you’re willing to do in a balanced way and what you’re not willing to do. Many people, especially women, never take care of themselves because they are so busy taking care of everyone else and a giant to do list. This makes self-care very challenging. And it’s a major disconnect from self-love. If you are overworked and overwhelmed, it’s also difficult to have loving relationships. Healthy boundaries means asking others to do their fair share, so that you can rest and replenish yourself. You know how you love yourself? When you prioritize your self-care. And while this is #8, it could just as easily be #1. Because if you find you’re not doing this, it’s a huge signal that it’s time to reconnect to love.
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Tune in Next Week
Tune in next week to 21st Century Medicine Woman, joining Heather is Board Certified Nutritional Consultant and Neurofeedback Specialist, Nora Gedgaudas. Nora will reveal natural solutions for improving brain health, including little-known tips from her time spent studying a family of wolves on the High Arctic tundra and exposure to the Inuit culture.
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