Hay House Radio Episode Recap
- Episode Name: “Love Intuition: Follow the Energy to True Love”
- Live Broadcast: April 9th, 2019 at 12:00 pm Pacific Time
Episode Summary Re-cap
People often confuse love and spirituality, says Relationship Expert, Arielle FordWhat does your heart want? And how do you get out of your head and work with the energy — those subtle flows guiding you toward your soul’s desire — to create a soul-fulfilling love life? In our first show of this series, bestselling author and Relationship Expert, Arielle Ford, will reveal why intuition is not always spot on when it comes to finding your soulmate. In fact, people often confuse love and spirituality, says Arielle. Join us and find out how to follow the energy when it comes to love, without falling into the most common traps that could stop you from finding your true soulmate.
Special Guest: Arielle Ford
Arielle Ford is a leading personality in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. For the past 30 years she has been living, teaching, and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is a celebrated love and relationship expert, speaker, and is the co-creator and co-host of Evolving Wisdom’s Art of Love series.
Arielle is a gifted writer and the author of eleven books including her the international bestseller, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction (published in 21 languages and 40 countries). She has also written many groundbreaking books including her most recent, a transformational coloring book Inkspirations Love by Design as well as Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate: A Practical Guide To Happily Ever After and Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships. She has been called “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love.”
A long-time “Student of Love,” Arielle regularly presents workshops around the world including England, Germany, Italy, Mexico, Kuwait, Canada, Romania, Ireland, Austria and Bali as well as personal growth centers such as Omega Institute, Kripalu, The Chopra Center, Esalen, Alternatives in London, AwesomenessFest, Celebrate Your Life, and many other prestigious venues. She has appeared on many national TV and radio shows including Today Show, CNN, Fox News and more.
She lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband/soulmate, Brian Hilliard and their feline friends.
Single and looking for your soulmate?
Join Arielle’s free 75-minute webinar!
Relationships Do Have Health Benefits
It seems that relationships are far more important than any of us could have thought. According to Harvard study of hundreds of men over an 80-year period, researchers found that when looking at all areas of their lives, the key indicator for longevity and success was happy relationships.
Love and relationship expert, Arielle Ford, describes this as the marriage effect: in a good marriage, people live longer, experience less pain, and are happier.
An interesting side note about happy marriage that Arielle shared is that married men, whether happily or unhappily married, live on average 7 years longer than single men. When it comes to women, however, they need to be in a happy marriage to have better health and longevity.
Beware of these Mistakes in Health and Spirituality
In fact, Arielle says that people who focus only on diet or fitness, without taking relationships into account are missing out on the benefits of the marriage effect. “You may die with a healthy body, but an unhappy heart,” she says.
“People conflate healthy lifestyle with spirituality,” Arielle reveals. Drinking a green drink, eating healthy, meditating, and going to yoga aren’t spirituality. They are especially not spiritual if you’re judging your significant other or the people around you who aren’t doing those things, Arielle warns.
Spirituality Is How You Treat Others
Let’s let that sink in for a bit. Because we’ve all seen people starting to eat a healthy diet and live a healthy or “spiritual” life, then judge others who aren’t doing the same. This can often happen in marriages or long-term relationships. What’s destructive is judging others who aren’t on the same path as you.
Arielle gives us a simple way to look at this. Many men, she says, may not be on a spiritual path, but their actions are absolutely spiritual in how they treat others. Think of the man who is coaching little league, driving your mom to the doctor, and leading a life on purpose. He may not be wearing patchouli and meditating, but he’s absolutely doing acts of loving kindness. That is spirituality!
As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
One of the most fascinating aspects of the spiritual movement is that many people just starting on the path are incredibly judgmental about themselves and a side effect of self-judgment often leads to also being judgmental of others. This is where a spiritual path can absolutely veer off course. It’s this kind of judgment that can get in the way of what could be a truly loving relationship.
The conclusion is clear: spiritual arrogance is something to beware of!
Another mistake in spirituality is thinking no one should have negative thoughts…ever. Imagine if you are on a spiritual path and your spouse isn’t. Your spouse is working through some negative thoughts and you get worried that it will burst your pink bubble of joy and keep you from benefitting from the law of attraction. Maybe you don’t ever want to talk about anything “negative” for these reasons.
Arielle suggests we re-think this concern. “Negative thoughts are normal, we have them all the time,” she says.
“For example, if you went out to dinner and had the worst meal, would you stop eating?” Arielle asks.
The problem isn’t the negative thought, it’s when someone is obsessing about a negative thought or holding onto it in a negative feedback loop. We have to stop fearing negative thoughts and recognize the difference.
The Life Cycle of the Best Marriages has Ups and Downs
It’s important to recognize that marriages have ups, downs, highs, and lows. The reason why divorce is so high is that people have no clue what love is!
Many people think love is a feeling. This seems to make sense because, in the initial stages of love, you have a pharmacy of hormones coursing through your body…dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin – the perfect combination for a drug-like love high. Arielle says this is nature’s trick to get us to procreate. However, she says that within about three years, this drug high goes away. Your body’s hormones go back to normal and many people feel let down by this. Where did the love go?
It wasn’t that the love left, Arielle says, it’s that now you have to figure out what love really is.
Arielle tells us that love is:
- A practice
- A choice
- A decision
- A way of being
- Action (remember, actions speak louder than words!)
When you realize this, it will make more sense that the life cycle of a marriage includes times when you may feel like you hate your soulmate, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love them. The problem is when you count on your feelings as a gauge for love.
The Spiritual and Intuitive Woman and Love
Using feelings as the only guide for love is a huge mistake, says Arielle. This is why she believes spiritual and intuitive women have the hardest time in love.
“Don’t use intuition when dating unless you have an excellent pattern of always picking the perfect partner,” she warns. “Instead, look for the elements of a great relationship.”
The Elements of a Long-Term Happy Relationship
To have a really wonderful relationship, you want to choose someone with whom you have a connection, compatibility, good communication, some chemistry (it doesn’t have to be the hottest chemistry!), and a shared vision for the future.
Nowhere in this list have we talked about feelings!
Finding Your Soulmate
Also, keep in mind that it simply isn’t true that there’s only one love or one soulmate out there for you. This is a myth! A soulmate is someone with whom you share unconditional love, who completely accepts who you are, and with whom you have the experience of being home when you look in their eyes. Keep in mind that this is everyone in your life you feel this way with – so you may actually be surrounded by soulmates!
When it comes to finding a romantic soulmate, here are some daily practices Arielle recommends:
- Keep a journal and write about how grateful you are for all the love you already have.
- Align your heart with your soulmate – In the quantum science of manifesting a soulmate, we know that your soulmate already exists in the quantum field, where everything is connected. You can access the power of the unseen plane as you do Arielle’s visioning exercise. She suggests dropping your attention into your heart and sending a cord of golden light from your heart to theirs. Begin talking to them. In this way, when you meet them, you’ll already have this connection. Want to try this? Here’s how to get Arielle’s free guided visualization.
- Take Arielle’s free 75-minute webinar with even more tips and practices to manifest your soulmate.
- Want more? Take an in-person retreat with Arielle at Esalen.
Here Are Some Of Arielle’s Critical Success Factors For A Soulmate Relationship:
- You need to know them well – take at least a full year to get to know them. Meet their family and friends.
- If your friends and family tell you something isn’t right, listen.
- Ask yourself: is this someone I trust to keep me physically and emotionally safe?
- Do you trust them?
- Can you count on them to keep their word?
- Do they celebrate your wins and comfort you when you’re down?
- Are they financially responsible? (This doesn’t mean they have to be rich, just responsible with money.)
These critical success factors can be incredibly helpful, especially if you’ve had a toxic relationship or narcissist in the past. Narcissists are the most attractive people on the planet, Arielle warns, this is why you want to look for behavior, not what they’re saying. Some men actually target smart, successful women because they want something from them. In fact, books have been written to teach men to find smart, successful women and prey on them!
Remember, it’s behavior that matters, not whether a man is showing up at spiritual events. You are looking for a conscious man – whether he’s spiritual or not doesn’t mean he won’t do anything for you and put his sword in the ground for you.
Looking for Your Soulmate? Stop Hiding and Get Out There!
“I have a big problem with the self-love movement when it stops women from getting out there to find their soulmate,” Arielle says.
You don’t have to spend time hiding and working on yourself in order to manifest your soulmate – isn’t that great news? Most people have issues with themselves, so unless you’re really focusing on self-hate and self-loathing, you’ll likely still find that you have a critical voice in your head no matter how much self-growth you’ve done.
Harville Hendrix, PhD, who Oprah calls “the marriage whisperer,” says that the true purpose of a soulmate union is to be in a healing container, where you’ve taken sacred vows so all of your childhood wounds could be healed safely.
Arielle shared that when she met her soulmate and husband, Brian, and saw how much he loved her, she healed exponentially. She wants to inspire you to get out there and don’t wait!
“The only way to find a soulmate is to go get visible,” she says.
If you lost a job and wanted to find a new one, would you sit at home on the couch and say, “if it’s meant for me to find work, it will find me?” No way!
“If your heart’s desire is to be with your soulmate partner, get off your ass and get out there, get visible!” Arielle says.
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Tune in Next Week
Tune in next week to 21st Century Medicine Woman, when my guest, author, Story Coach, and meditation expert, Dr. April Wilder will reveal how to unleash the energy of creativity in your life. Whether you feel your intuition is blocked, your creativity is blocked, or you are finding yourself stuck, we will address all the ways to tap into the deep inner wisdom that guides your life, relationships and work.
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