How to Stop Taking Things Personally

Hay House Radio Episode Recap

  • Episode Name: “How to Stop Taking Things Personally”
  • Live Broadcast: March 27th, 2017 at 3:00 pm Pacific Time
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Episode Summary Re-cap

Do you find that you often take things personally?
Blame yourself for everything? Over-give or take on way too much responsibility?
Perhaps you are energetically sensitive, intuitive, or psychic and find yourself picking up energy from others that you take personally. Did you ever wonder why this happens and how it can impact your health and wellbeing? We reveal the reasons behind why we take things personally and some practical tips to release the pattern!
Amy B. Scher Special Guest: Amy B. Scher  is an L.A.-based author and leading voice in the field of mind-body-spirit healing. At 25 years old, Amy’s health began declining as she faced late-stage Lyme disease. Her symptoms baffled doctors, but she kept seeking answers for her recovery, leading her to India, stem cell therapy and several other treatments. But even with extensive treatments, she wasn’t able to get and stay completely well until she turned inward for healing – addressing her emotions, beliefs, and  who she really was at the core.

Today, Amy is an author, teacher and energy therapist. She uses energy therapy techniques to help those experiencing illness and those in need of emotional healing. Amy has been featured on healthcare blogs, CNN, Curve magazine, Elephant Journal, Cosmopolitan magazine, OM Times, and the San Francisco Book Review. She was also named one of Advocate’s “40 Under 40” in 2013. Amy has presented to groups such as the Department of Psychiatry at Stanford University and teaches at retreats and conferences nationwide.

Amy has written several books on health and healing, including:

Lessons from Lyme Disease, Chronic Fatigue, and Fibromyalgia: A Collection Of Stories, Insights, and Healing Solutions

This Is How I Save My Life: A True Story of Embryonic Stem Cells, Indian Adventures, and Ultimate Self-Healing

And her most recent book: How To Heal Yourself When No One Else Can: A Total Self-Healing Approach for Mind, Body, and Spirit

Amy’s Energy Healing Community on Facebook — this is a great way to interact with Amy and learn her energy healing techniques!

Most importantly, Amy lives by her self-created motto:

“When life kicks your ass, kick back.”

Read more about Amy: | Amy’s Books | How to Heal Yourself When No One Else CanAmy’s ClassFacebook

7 Solutions to Stop Taking Things Personally

Do you find that you often take things personally? Blame yourself for everything? Over-give or take on way too much responsibility? Perhaps you are energetically sensitive, intuitive, or psychic and find yourself picking up energy, emotions, or symptoms from others that you take personally. Did you ever wonder why this happens and how it can impact your relationships, health and wellbeing? We reveal the reasons behind why we take things personally and some practical tips to release the pattern!

Common Reasons You May Take Things Personally

You are a highly sensitive, intuitive, psychic person

While everyone is intuitive and able to sense energy, some of you may be extra sensitive. If this is the case, you may be aware of or feel things  – symptoms, emotions or other signals — stronger than usual. It can feel as if the energy you’ve picked up actually belongs to you, which makes it feel very personal.

You’re tired, stressed, or on “autopilot”

When you’re caught up in the busy-ness of life, it can be easy to start going through the motions and lose awareness of what’s yours and what belongs to others.

You’re a people pleaser

Many people with big hearts love to make others happy. In other cases, growing up in a difficult household can also instill a need to please challenging people around you. If you feel driven to please everyone, you may take on responsibility for things that aren’t yours, whether it’s tasks, emotions, or energy. In a sense, you may feel that it’s your responsibility to fix things for everyone around you or to keep the peace.

You have difficulty letting things go

Some energetically sensitive people find they have trouble letting go of emotions, fears, anxiety, grudges – anything, really. Often, these sensitive types are very focused on keeping things safe for themselves and others, so their radar is constantly scanning for anything that is uncomfortable or unsafe. If this is you, it’s important to follow the steps below, so that you can trust that everyone is safe and not take on energy that limits your wellbeing.

Signs or Symptoms You are Taking Things to Personally

  • Anxiety
  • Digestive distress
  • Fatigue
  • Headaches or migraines
  • A symptom just showing up (whether new or old)
  • Feeling drained or “off,” only around certain people or in certain places
  • Feeling tired or worse in groups
  • Not being able to let things go
  • Reacting, instead of stopping to become aware of what’s happening and responding
  • Feeling guilty or as if everything is your fault, even if you know it’s not
  • Feeling something is off, but not knowing why

If you find you are taking things too personally and it’s affecting your health, wellbeing, relationships or lifestyle, these 7 solutions are for you:

#1 Ground Your Energy

Meditate or visualize yourself with your feet connected to the ground. Or go outside and put your bare feet on the ground. Imagine yourself growing roots right into the ground, breathing deeply. Feel into your body as you breathe and feel yourself getting strong, calm, and center.

#2 Get to Know Yourself

Take time alone, to be in your own energy. Go into your body, whether you meditate or light a candle and just be with yourself. Ask yourself: how am I feeling right now? What is it that I really want? What signals is my body giving me? How would I truly like to approach this?And the best question of all: How would I do this if no one was watching? If I had no one to please? Find out what you really want. It’s a great practice to check in with yourself like this before you agree to do anything. And if you feel you’re taking something too personally, take time to ask yourself these questions and see what comes up.

#3 Become Aware of “Social Contagion”

According to Susan David, author of Emotional Agility and a leading psychologist at Harvard Medical School, says:

“When you say something like, ‘I am stressed,’ you are identifying all of you with being stressed. I talk about very practical strategies. [Say,] “I’m noticing that I’m feeling angry,” or “I’m noticing that I’m feeling stressed.” Instead of being one and the same as stress, you are recognizing that you’re experiencing an emotion.

One thing which is so powerful is to hear the heartbeat of our own why. We live in a world where everyone is telling us what to think, how to look, how to feel. There’s fascinating research showing that we are subject to social contagion, where we start subtly picking up the behaviors of others. We go into an elevator, everyone’s looking at their phones, so we take out ours. If you’re on an airplane, if your seat partner buys candy, even if you don’t know that person, you are 30% more likely to buy candy.

Yet, if we start to hear the heartbeat of our own why—who I want to be in the situation, in this discussion, in this world—it actually protects us from social contagion.”

#4 Notice Signals and Ask, “Is This Mine or Someone Else’s?”

Instead of assuming every emotion or symptom or blame is yours and reacting, stop for a moment and get curious. Ask if this is yours or someone else’s? Stop yourself from assuming that something is wrong with you and shift into curiosity. “Whose is this? Where is it coming from? Does this belong to me?”

#5 Practice Regular Energy Clearing

There are many options in Amy Scher’s book, How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can, such as:

  • Shake your hands off after leaving a group of people or a difficult situation. This is simple, yet effective.
  • Zip UpThe zip up is an Eden Energy Medicine technique is wonderful for protecting your energy.
  • Thymus Tap – Tap the center of your chest, which helps to boost your immunity and connects to your whole body. This is easy and helps balance your whole system. Use your flat hand or a few fingers and tap on this area, saying something like, “Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.” You are giving yourself and your immune system permission to let it go.
  • Solar Plexus Tap – This is great for your digestive system and self-esteem/self-empowerment. This area is in the front of the body under where your bra strap would be. You can say affirmations or things like, “let it go,” “I am safe,” or “I love and accept myself.”
#6 Just Do It

It’s important to practice letting things go (and not looking for them and digging them up again!) and speaking your truth. It’s important that as you are getting to know yourself and feeling guided by your inner wisdom, that you trust and follow it. If you don’t practice it, you won’t get to see how safe you are and how well your intuition guides you. If you are afraid, use one of the energy clearing techniques in #5 or The Sweep in #7 and step out of your comfort zone! Get a friend to support you, if you need a cheerleader at first. The only way to remove fear and doubt is to try it out and get some practice!

#7 The Sweep

Sweep old beliefs out of your subconscious mind. This is wonderful for releasing limiting beliefs, like “it’s all my fault.”

Here’s the script for The Sweep from Amy’s book, How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can:

Step 1: Connect with your inner being or higher power-I usually have clients place their hands over their heart to connect to their inner being or higher self. However, if you feel called to place your hands somewhere else, perhaps over an area that needs healing, feel free to do that instead.

Step 2: Repeat the Sweep verbiage (simply repeat the script slowly, taking breaks if you feel like you need time to process (yawn, take a deep breath, etc.).
Make sure you do not rush through this as you need to do it in a way that feels inviting and safe to the subconscious mind.

  • Even though I have this __(state belief)___, I acknowledge it’s no longer working for me. I give my subconscious full permission to help me clear it, from all of my cells in all of my body, permanently and completely.
  • I am now free to thank it for serving me in the past
  • I am now free to release all resistances to letting it go
  • I am now free to release all ideas that I need this to stay safe
  • I am now free to release all ideas that I need it for any reason
  • I am now free to release all feelings that I don’t deserve to release it
  •  I am now free to release all conscious and subconscious causes for it
  • I am now free to release all patterns, emotions and memories connected to it
  • I am now free to release all generational or past life energies keeping it stuck
  • All of my being is healing and clearing this energy now, including any stress response stored in my cells
  • It is now time to install _____ (insert a belief that is the opposite of whatever you just released)___.

And so it is done.

When you are finished, take a few big deep breaths.

Step 3: Check in-It’s a good idea to use your muscle testing to confirm you cleared the belief completely. Simply state the belief again, in its original form, and see if your body still resonates with it (and needs a little more work) or if it’s no longer true for you (wahoo!). If for some reason it didn’t clear completely, don’t be alarmed. You can just repeat The Sweep again and retest. This process can take a few times of slow, deliberate intention and focus. Each belief will be different and will clear differently, too.

Tip: The Sweep can also be used effectively for clearing layers of energy contributing to symptoms. You might want to experiment with this. Instead of inserting a belief into the verbiage, you might use something like this: “Even though I have this ____(insert symptom, fear, emotion, or anything else)___, I acknowledge its no longer working for me …”Then, revise the wording to fit your specific focus.

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Tune in Next Week

Tune in next week to Loving Yourself to Great Health, JP Sears is joining me in the studio me to discuss how Humor helps us heal – this is going to be fun, join us!


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As a coach, writer and recovered former executive, I understand the challenges of creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle when over-scheduled. In my journey to radiant health, I created a whole health system of eating, exercise, renewal and recharging -- a roadmap toward health & vitality. I empower clients to create their own whole health systems, in their own unique ways. I have seen amazing results in working with my clients!