Hay House Radio Episode Recap
- Episode Name: “Finding Courage to Create Lasting Change”
- Live Broadcast: September 4th, 2018 at 12:00 pm Pacific Time
Episode Summary Re-cap
Spiritual experts tell us to “enjoy the journey,” and that sounds good, right?Life is challenging, life is miraculous. So how do we navigate the journey in between? Spiritual experts tell us to “enjoy the journey,” and that sounds good, right? Until you face something really challenging and wonder how it could possibly be enjoyable. It’s too easy to want to “get through it” as quickly as you can, so you can breathe again. Today, Jessica Ortner joins Heather to reveal how you can enjoy the journey of life – even when it gets seriously uncomfortable. Discover what happens when you honor your authentic self, courageously tell the truth, and invite joy into the process of life.
Special Guest: Jessica Ortner
Jessica Ortner is an EFT / Tapping expert, New York Times bestselling author of The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence, and producer of The Tapping Solution, the breakthrough documentary film on EFT / Tapping. Her new book is called The Tapping Solution to Create Lasting Change: A guide to get unstuck and find your flow.
Jessica is passionate about teaching others how to create lasting change with more ease.
She is also the host of the podcast Adventures in Happiness, on iTunes.
Out of Your Comfort Zone? Here’s What to Remember
I bet you’ve felt it recently…that moment when you’re out of your comfort zone. Things are changing. Maybe you feel there’s no roadmap to navigate the change. That’s when fear, doubt, and anxiety tends to show up. And it’s moments like this when we have a choice: stay stuck or move forward.
Jessica Ortner has spent a lot of time thinking about change, growth, and reaching for your dreams. Especially after she wrote her first book, The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence. You’d think writing a New York Times bestselling book would create confidence, but Jessica found herself feeling unsettled. She started worrying, “What if it doesn’t last? What if I don’t live up to people’s expectations?”
After speaking to other Hay House authors, Jessica learned that these fears are common. In fact, as she got curious about what she was feeling, she learned some important lessons about change.
#1 – Failure And Success Can Be Equally Frightening
While we often think only failure brings on stress, it’s actually anything new that can create stress and fear. Many people who start to experience success, especially for the first time or successes that come quickly, start to doubt themselves or worry about holding on to what they created. In essence, while we attach labels of good or bad to outcomes in our lives, anything that prompts change can also prompt fear and doubt.
#2 – If You Feel Fear, Doubt, Or Anxiety Over Something New, You Are Not Alone
Even the most successful, brave people experience fear when they are trying new things. Everyone has to step out of their comfort zone at times and this means at any given moment, countless people are feeling like you may feel right now. If you’re in transition, trust that fear, doubt, anxiety and other worries are a normal part of how the human brain processes change.
#3 – Replace Self-Criticism With Curiosity
One of the ways our minds try to protect us or cope with transitions is self-criticism. Self-criticism is when all of your limiting beliefs show up and play out in the back of your head. You know those thoughts: “I’m not good enough.” Or “I can’t keep up.” Jessica recommends changing your focus and self-talk with curiosity. “What if I knew I could do it, what would I do next?” Ask yourself questions, instead of predicting or deciding the worst-case scenarios.
Also, ask other people questions, especially friends who’ve gone through big changes. What did they experience during big changes? Did they have trouble sleeping? Feel anxiety? Start something and find it difficult to finish? Did they feel stuck, unable to move forward? Learning how others worked through change can be very helpful and motivating.
How to Navigate Change with Courage and Joy
People who study the human brain and change management know that resistance is a very normal response to anything new. But just knowing it’s normal and others experience the same thing doesn’t always help you feel better. So Jessica wants you to know what steps you can take to reduce stress, feel calm, and get yourself into a space where you can meet change head-on. But she doesn’t want you to stop there. In order for you to enjoy the journey of life, she offers tips to experience joy on this journey of change. Let’s find out how.
Take a deep breath. If you’re stuck, it’s time to relieve the stress. Whenever you are dealing with the unknown, it feels scary. It was Cheryl Richardson who reminded Jessica that during these times, you revert to the mentality of a scared child. The competent adult you really are has now taken the backseat as your inner child shows up in a state of panic. Your body believes what your mind is thinking, which adds to the overwhelm. In this state, it can be easy to forget all the wisdom you have, all the self-development tools at your disposal, all the techniques you have used in the past to change. This kind of stress can feel paralyzing. Cheryl recommended taking a deep breath and practicing deep self-compassion during these times. Remind yourself that your inner, scared child is panicking and it’s okay. Invite yourself to remove criticism and judgment (see #3 above) and then assess the tools, techniques, and resources you have available. Tapping is a great one.
Tapping to relieve fear, stress, doubt and judgment. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or tapping is Jessica’s go-to stress relieving, energy shifting modality. Tapping is using your fingers to tap acupressure points that help reduce stress in the brain. Tapping has been used successfully to reduce limiting beliefs, pain, trauma, and negative emotions.
When you have a thought, your body has a physical reaction. Under stress, your body tends to stop nurturing your life-supporting activities (digestion, immunity, circulation, ability to think clearly) and prioritizes priming your body for action (e.g., running away from a tiger). Too much of this harms the body over time, which is why studies show 90% of doctor’s visits are due to stress.
Tapping helps relieve stress so that you can feel better and calmer, which supports better decision-making and opens the door to taking action from a place of balance and joy.
Jessica’s Tips for Tapping
- Get clear on what’s bothering you. It helps to recognize what is truly bothering you, so you can tap on it. While most people find several issues they could work on, Jessica suggests finding your most pressing issue.
- Notice how your most pressing issue feels in your body. Let’s say you’re nervous about a big meeting and feeling self-doubt. Drop your attention into your body and notice how you’re feeling. What’s happening in your body? Do you notice any symptoms? On a scale of 0 – 10 (with 10 being the strongest), how is the self-doubt feeling in your body? Give it a number and write the number down.
- Prepare your setup statement. Your setup statement acknowledges your most pressing issue and declares your self-acceptance. For example, “Even though I’m anxious about this big meeting, I accept myself and how I feel.” This statement sets you up for relief because when you accept something, it allows you to relax and stop fighting.
- Go through the tapping points with statements about what you’re experiencing. Jessica led us through tapping exercises to help navigate change, remove self-doubt and enjoy the process. You can listen to the replay of this show or use your Hay House All-Access Pass to listen to the archives to tap along with Jessica and me.
- Check in with yourself after tapping. Bring your most pressing issue to mind again and drop your attention into your body. Now how do you feel? Did it go up? Go down? Stay the same? Disappear? Write it down. You can continue tapping if you still need to work with the issue until you feel some relief.
Here Are Some Wonderful Videos Of Jessica Ortner And Nick Ortner
Explaining And Demonstrating Tapping
They will have a Tapping App out in November to support you on your tapping journey.
Trusting Your Intuition
Once you’ve tapped to relieve stress, Jessica believes you’ll be in a better place to access your intuition and allow it to guide you forward.
When you’re doing something new, you rarely have a playbook with all the next steps. This is where your inner guidance system comes into play. Trusting your intuition is akin to believing in yourself. This is especially true because doing big things often means marching to the beat of your own drum. You may do things others think are weird or that break the rules in your family or community. Your path may diverge from what it was or what others want it to be. Moving forward toward your dream requires removing doubt and believing in yourself, or at least, in taking the next step!
The more you remove doubt (e.g., with tapping), the more you’ll clear the path to trust your intuition. Courageous people are not more certain than you, they have just decided to move forward anyway. Believing in yourself helps to build courage.
Speaking Your Truth
Jessica shared a story that she told during her wedding. When she was dating her husband, he told her he loved her. At first, she gave the expected response: I love you too. Then, she admitted to him that she wasn’t ready to say she loved him. His response was: “I can be patient.” This honest communication only deepened their love and connection. Because in the past, Jess said she would fall back on people-pleasing and say what others wanted to hear, instead of how she really felt. She didn’t want to live in the past though. Those were the habits that contributed to her old experience of weight gain and low self-worth. The very things she had learned to leave behind. So she gathered her courage and spoke her truth in a calm and loving way.
You never know how someone will respond when you speak your truth. However, Jessica reminds us that you can’t live the life you really want unless you speak up. In fact, she feels that your quality of life is equivalent to the difficult conversations you’re willing to have. When you have the courage to speak up, you find out who the people in your life really are. You find out who is there to support you in how you want to live your life. And you give others permission to do the same.
If you’re worried about speaking your truth, tap first and then speak from a calm place, where you can access your inner guidance.
Enjoying The Journey
Why do all of this stuff? Because none of you came here to play small or stay stuck. Everyone comes into this life with a sacred path. What you do and how you do it is unique to you. This journey of life can be scary. To change means to face uncertainty, discomfort, struggle. To live among others means navigating your own needs vs. the needs of others. All of this can feel like a confusing soup to wade through. And yet, don’t we want to grow anyway? And how do we grow, change, feel the fear and still enjoy the process? Jessica offers a multitude of tips, stories, and techniques in her new book, The Tapping Solution to Create Lasting Change: A guide to get unstuck and find your flow. Check it out and get your joy on!
Hay House Wisdom Community Members can listen to this show again anytime, and you can download and podcast this and over 10,000 archived audios from your favorite authors.
Tune in Next Week
Tune in next week to 21st Century Medicine Woman, when I am joined by Clinical Nutrition Consultant, Nora Gedgaudas to reveal how your diet can impact your blood sugar levels and metabolic health. Did you know that your willpower, decision-making, moods, and energy are linked to blood sugar levels? How can you tell if it’s time to pay attention to your blood sugar balance? And is there anything you can do to prevent or reverse diabetes?
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