Ending Anxiety & Perfectionism

Hay House Radio Episode Recap

  • Episode Name: “Ending Anxiety & Perfectionism”
  • Pre-Recorded: August 23rd, 2016
  • Airing: Monday, September 19th, 2016 at 3:00 pm Pacific Time

Episode Replays: Mondays at 11:00 pm Pacific Time / 2:00 am Eastern Time and Sundays at 2:00 pm Pacific Time / 5:00 pm Eastern Time

Episode Summary Re-cap

In Chinese medicine, certain personality types are more prone to anxiety, perfectionism, and fear of making mistakes. Find out what you can do to eliminate anxiety and perfectionism. Learn how you can use Chinese medicine for emotional and physical health. Discover supplements, elixirs, and home remedies to calm anxiety today!

Jean HanerSpecial Guest: Jean Haner

Hay House author Jean Haner teaches compassionate and affirming ways for people to understand their true nature and to feel love for everyone in their lives, including that reflection in the mirror.

Jean married into a Chinese family when she was in her 20s, and began to learn about Chinese culture, philosophy and medicine from her very traditional mother-in-law. It wasn’t until after her wedding that she discovered the family had her face and birth date evaluated to see if she was a “lucky” match for her husband, and that even the date and time of the ceremony had been determined according to what would bring the most luck for the family.

She went on to study the deeper foundations of these ancient principles of balance and health with many teachers over the years, and learned that it has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with learning to be true to your nature.

Jean teaches and consults about the psychological and spiritual side of Chinese medicine, providing fascinating and practical information that can be put to immediate use in your life. People all over the world have discovered in her work a community of like minds who support each other in their commitment to a more conscious path, one that is based on open-hearted compassion.

Jean has written two books on Chinese face reading –The Wisdom of Your Face and The Wisdom of Your Child’s Face, revealing insights your facial features give us about your inner nature. And Your Hidden Symmetry, a book that helps you discover who you are and your true calling in life. Jean teaches compassionate and affirming ways for people to understand their true nature and to feel love for everyone in their lives, including that reflection in the mirror.

JeanHaner.com | Facebook Upcoming Online Discover Your Inner Design Class

Recognizing How Anxiety & Perfectionism Manifests In Your Life

Do you wake up in the middle of the night in a panic? Or perhaps you are so anxious that you can’t even get to sleep? Do you have heart-palpitations, chest pains, sweating, or shortness of breath during the day? Perhaps panic attacks stop you in your tracks? Maybe you feel detached from others or from the world. Or maybe you experience hot flashes, numbness or tingling your body. All of these are symptoms of anxiety!

The National Institutes of Health report that 40% of Americans between the ages of 18 – 54 suffer from anxiety and it’s the most common mood disorder.

Why do we have anxiety? Well, one of the underlying reasons is perfectionism. In fact, studies have shown that perfectionism can be an issue at birth, not just later in life, and is linked to all sorts of health challenges and mood issues. Psychology Today reported that “Research suggests that perfectionism is a genetic predisposition and that the environment and experiences individuals have throughout their lives are key contributors.”

The good news is, experts agree that anxiety is treatable! Chinese medicine, a thousands of years old system of health and wellness, has some wonderful tips for spotting and releasing anxiety and perfectionism naturally.

In Chinese medicine, there are 5 elements which describe patterns in nature and how they play out in our physical and emotional experience.

We are each a blend of the 5 elements, but we often identify most with one or two and respond emotionally based on these elements. Once we recognize the way an element is showing up in our lives, it’s easier to bring awareness to our response and work on accepting and releasing it.

The 5 Elements (or Personality Types)

  • Water
  • Wood
  • Fire
  • Earth
  • Metal

Anxiety & Perfectionism: How It Shows Up in 5 Different Personality Types

Water Element
  • Anxiety shows up as a sense of insecurity and fear. They may feel like there is no one they can trust. Water elements who begin to feel this way may sabotage themselves and isolate themselves even more.
  • Perfectionism may stem from a strong drive to get better and more powerful. If they become obsessed with getting more power, they can drive themselves too hard.
Wood Element
  • Anxiety – Wood element people may experience anxiety as a fear of being a failure or looking weak. It’s almost as if there is an inner tension and woods can feel driven to prove themselves to themselves and others. They may also beat themselves up for their mistakes.
  • Perfectionism – Fear of failure can drive perfectionism. Woods can forget that the most successful people fail quite a bit before finding success! A fear of failure can lead to severe procrastination or they may see it as a challenge and push the envelope with deadline pressure.
Fire Element
  • Anxiety may look more like nervousness, shakiness or anxiety attacks. Fire element people have open, psychic boundaries and feel others’ emotions. This can make it hard for them to stay grounded.
  • Perfectionism – A core issue for fire is fear of rejection, so this may drive perfectionism. Fires want to feel loveable. They may appear lazy or like they’ve given up. Often, if their fantasy doesn’t meet reality, it pops their bubble and they can lose steam.
Earth Element
  • Anxiety – Earths often feel highly responsible to please others and may feel anxious if they can’t do enough. This can lead to tremendous guilt and worry.
  • Perfectionism – Earths are ultimate people pleasers and don’t want to disappoint people or let them down. They tend to worry or feel guilty about not meeting other people’s needs. An example could be an earth element mother who doesn’t let her children be self-sufficient. They always want to do things for people.
Metal Element
  • Anxiety – For metals, anxiety can be felt as not being good enough. If this happens, their energy contracts and tightens. Metals struggle with physical boundaries and tend to breathe too shallowly. To manage anxiety, they need a lot of private time to be in their own energy and recharge.
  • Perfectionism – Metal elements are the ultimate perfectionists. They often work long hours, checking things over and over again. They can be uptight and rigid because they are mortified about making mistakes. If they fall into perfectionism, they can live too small a life and deprive themselves of opportunities. Often afraid of failure.

Tips for Eliminating Anxiety and Perfectionism

  • As soon as you feel the fear, make a commitment to just do it – take action anyway. Even if you want to procrastinate, just take one step, even if it’s a tiny one.
  • Work on embracing failure as part of success instead of thinking of it as a weakness. Celebrate failures as part of the journey!
  • Stretch, do yoga, find ways to release inner tension.
  • Notice when you are in judgment and focus on letting it go. If you catch yourself in judgment, use affirmations, like: “I release myself and others from that thought.”
  • If you find yourself concerned about failure, say this affirmation: “It’s okay to fail. Failure is a stepping stone to success.”
  • Watch for fears of rejection or feeling unlovable. If you catch yourself feeling this way, say affirmations, like: “Life loves me” and, “I am loveable.”
  • Put yourself out there, even if you are worried others won’t like it or that reality won’t live up to the fantasy. Make it fun!
  • Celebrate yourself. Get cheerleaders who will celebrate with you and cheer you on. Reward yourself along the way.
  • Spend time in nature, this is especially helpful for earth element people.
  • Prioritize self-care – nurture yourself
  • Allow others to do things for themselves
  • Receive support from others, instead of feeling like you have to do everything yourself.
  • You probably could do 50% less than you think you need to do and get 200% more results than others. Think about taking things off your to-do list.
  • Take more alone time to be in your own energy and release the energy of others.
  • Do deep breathing exercises.
  • Say this affirmation: “It’s safe to fail. Failure is a normal part of the path to success. I am safe.”
  • Bring some fun and joy into your life. If you are worried about failure or if you feel like you are not good enough, catch yourself. See if you can laugh at yourself!

Helpful Tips for All Elements

Spend Time in Nature

Studies have shown that 90 minutes of walking in the woods or even looking at pictures of nature helps to boost mood.

Think of Emotions as Balloons

As soon as you feel anxiety or the drive for perfectionism, name it and see it as a balloon. Let the string go and watch the balloon float slowly up into the sky and as it floats away, feel the emotion leaving with it.

Eat Whole Foods

Processed foods and sugar promote feelings of stress and anxiety in the brain. Whole foods are full of nutrients that keep your brain calm and your body grounded. This makes it easier to spot anxiety and perfectionism and begin working with it, so you don’t let it take you over.

Water with Minerals or Sea Salt

Using sea salt or pink Himalayan salt on your foods instead of table salt provides over 80 trace minerals that can help keep your body feeling grounded and calm. Most stress and anxiety comes from a deficiency of minerals and is becoming a global health issue. You can also add ¼ teaspoon sea salt to water a couple times per day to feed your adrenals and calm anxiety. Another alternative is to use a wide-based liquid mineral supplement, like Anderson’s Sea MD in your water. Start with a total of ½ dropperful to one dropperful (if you are sensitive, start low!) spread out in all of your glasses of water for the day.

Consume Bone Broth

Bone broth is full of minerals, vitamins, essential fatty acids and collagen. Collagen helps to heal and seal the gut. This is important because our brain relies on a healthy gut in order to be calms and have good moods. If one is experiencing a loop of perfectionism or constant anxiety, it’s very likely that there is an imbalance in the gut causing inflammation and adversely affecting the brain. Bone broth can nourish the body back into health so you can have calm, happy moods.

Healing Anti-Anxiety Recipes of the Day

Bone Broth Soup with Eggs.

Blood Sugar Balancing Vegan Green Smoothie.

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Tune in Next Week

Tune in next week to Loving Yourself to Great Health, Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz and I will cover more ways to take your health into your own hands!


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As a coach, writer and recovered former executive, I understand the challenges of creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle when over-scheduled. In my journey to radiant health, I created a whole health system of eating, exercise, renewal and recharging -- a roadmap toward health & vitality. I empower clients to create their own whole health systems, in their own unique ways. I have seen amazing results in working with my clients!