Don't Touch My Food

Food…what a love hate relationship we seem to have with it. And it’s not just with anorexia, bulimia or binge eating. It’s America in general.

We love our food and no one better tell us what or how to eat. And yet, we’re being told all the time. We’re basically being told what to eat by what is presented to us by food manufacturers, vending machines, commercials and fast food restaurants. They put things in our food to make it last longer. They put things in our food to make us want to eat more. But no one better tell us to change the foods we like to eat.

I was the same way at one time. Don’t touch my food.

I remember being in high school (even before high school), when I ate pretty poorly. We had no family dinners and my typical dinners consisted of Dominoes pizza and Lean Cuisine. I didn’t know a thing about health, but I knew a lot about calories. That was in the 80’s and at the time, the calorie count was king.

I didn’t do much counting, but I did a lot of binging. I’d come home from school and eat one thing after another with no ability to stop. It was as if my body was propelling me to find something else that would satisfy an endless craving.

I’d eat from the time I got home to dinner time on some days, which was fine because with no family dinners I could just skip it if I was full.

The thing is, I was never satisfied and I didn’t know how to be satisfied, so I kept looking in cupboards, boxes and cans. I was a little freaked by my constant need to eat, but it seemed more like an undercurrent in my life than an overriding force.

One thing I do remember is telling my mother that it felt like the food I ate just sat there in my stomach and that nothing was moving. This seemed to be the case from the time I was 10 years old on. At the time, it wasn’t digestive pain so much as discomfort…the kind that made going out to dinner seem like a burden because I’d feel weird for hours afterwards. Bloating and constipation were there, but since I felt pretty good in general, it didn’t seem like a “condition.” Again, it was an undercurrent, but one that took me to the doctor and made me wonder what was happening with my body.

I’d have mood swings all day that felt like riding a roller coaster

In general, I was happy, but at any given moment, my mood could plummet to depression. It was nothing anyone could notice, but my parents agreed to have me see a counselor and nutritionist. She told me I had blood sugar issues and I needed to make sure I ate more often during the day…it helped…a bit.

Things just got worse from there…was it what I was eating or my emotions?

I don’t know. Probably both. But it’s clear to me today that my digestive system was out of whack. But no one could tell me to change my food. Nothing I learned about candida or other related digestive issues would make me give up fruit or other foods for a period of time. I didn’t believe it would do anything.

Fast forward to today….

I feel like I’ve seen it all in my quest for recovery (with the exception of a treatment center, surgery, or medication — all of which were recommended by doctors!). And I know for sure that my emotional and spiritual health are key to being recovered, but I also feel that a healthy, digestive-system healing way of eating has helped. Why?

Because everything is ENERGY

In our emotional and spiritual health, thoughts and beliefs have energy. When we think negative thoughts (all the terrible things you say to yourself all day, constant complaining, feeling “not good enough”), we have and put out negative energy. It makes us feel bad. From this bad feeling place, we feel stuck, limited, scared and like a victim. I know I did.

When we have positive thoughts (seeing the great things about our lives, believing in our power, loving ourselves unconditionally, saying great things to yourself like “I’m great just the way I am”), we have and put out positive energy.

This positive energy helps us see our power to create the lives we want. From this positive place, we feel enthusiastic, hopeful and motivated.

So what does this have to do with food?

Food carries energy too. Processed food from a can or box is often dead and lifeless. It’s been mashed and crushed and reshaped and filled with ingredients that are not necessarily meant for human consumption…but it’s great for making it last longer. This is low energy food.

Think about it…what does it feel like to be in nature?

Food that comes from nature, especially if it was grown organically or biodynamically (more in harmony with the planet), carries a life force. It is full of the energy of the Earth. It’s alive. And the closer it is to being a “whole food” as opposed to a processed food, the more energy it brings to your body.

When I finally hit rock bottom, my intuition said, think about your food. Nothing you are eating is satisfying…what will satisfy you?

My intuition led me to connect with my body and hear what it wanted. It was not far off from what Rhonda Lenair (the medical intutive who was the catalyst for my recovery) had recommended.

From rock bottom, I started to nourish myself AND heal my digestive system.

The combination of spiritual and emotional work that I was doing at the time PLUS my healing foods was like a revolution for my body. My energy soared and I felt happier than I’d ever felt in my life. No more depression, no more pain.

Since then, I’ve been studying a lot of spiritual teachers, alternative doctors and nutritionists. I’ll never forget the day Louise Hay, at a Hay House I Can Do It Conference, said: “Everything is thoughts and food.” It’s all energy.

In fact, Louise has always been interested in nutrition and healthy eating, often attributing it to the reason she looks and feels so young.

You know what?

I used to say no one better touch my food…no one better tell me what to eat. No one better tell me what to think. And while I thought that, I kept searching and searching for a quick fix that would “cure” me. Fix me. Make me right because there was so much wrong.

Now I’m realizing that I’m in charge. I get to decide for myself what kind of energy I want to give my mind, body and spirit.

Thank heavens for the depression, bingey thoughts and all the behaviors that come back ONLY when I’m out of alignment. Only when I’m in autopilot working too hard, doing work I hate, being with people I don’t feel aligned with. Being less than I am because I start to fear the money, the approval, the advancement of my career.

This “disorder,” this addiction is not in control of me. It’s just trying to tell me when I’m off because I forgot to listen to my body.

And that’s what it’s doing to you. Our bodies carry our intuition and when we are in pain and addiction, we lose touch with that intuition. I’ll do another post on what John Holland (a best-selling author and psychic) says about our bodies and developing intuition or psychic abilities….but until then, know that he too, thinks healthy food is important for this vessel our spirits live in.

Where IS All the Serotonin?

If it’s true what all the eating disorders experts say — that we are not only predisposed to have low serotonin (which, by the way is why we are depressed as well), then how do we get it? How do we get enough serotonin to feel happy, calm and to heal? We get it from protein digestion. And most people, bulimic or not, cannot digest protein today. We lack enough stomach acid (too little can cause acid stomach and GERD too) to break down the protein, so it putrefies in our bodies.

We need the amino acid tryptophan to get serotonin. Where is serotonin made? In your digestive system (90%), which is why drugs for depression take serotonin from your gut to your brain…and why people on these drugs are often constipated.

I’m not saying that we need to change the way we eat to recover. I am saying that there are physical AND energetic reasons to consider it. Not forever and not strictly, just in balance — listen to your body and let it guide you toward what balance feels like. At some point, we have to get out of the mainstream and decide for ourselves what we are going to fill our minds and bodies with. Instead of following all of the cynicism, fear and “rules.”

We get it about Madison Avenue and the models. We don’t yet get it about what food manufacturers are doing to America.

It’s time to be in charge of the energy we take into our minds, bodies and spirits…but do what feels right to you at your own pace. And give yourself a healthy dose of love along the way.


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As a coach, writer and recovered former executive, I understand the challenges of creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle when over-scheduled. In my journey to radiant health, I created a whole health system of eating, exercise, renewal and recharging -- a roadmap toward health & vitality. I empower clients to create their own whole health systems, in their own unique ways. I have seen amazing results in working with my clients!