Discover A New You

Hay House Radio Episode Recap

  • Episode Name: “Discover A New You”
  • Live Broadcast: January 8th, 2019 at 12:00 pm Pacific Time
Episode Replays: Tuesdays at 9:00 pm Pacific Time / 12:00 am Eastern Time, Saturdays at 2:00 pm Pacific Time / 5:00 pm Eastern Time, Sundays at 4:00 pm Pacific Time / 7:00 pm Eastern Time

Episode Summary Re-cap

Discover how to let go of the past and embrace your Sacred Path!
This is your year to release the wounded healer and step into your power. Heather will reveal tips to boost your strength and resilience with a vision quest practice for the coming year.

Do You Have Unfulfilled Desires of the Soul?

In Native American medicine, a big part of health is resolving unfulfilled desires of your soul. Many times, you know what these desires are. Sometimes, they are buried in your subconscious mind. Often, once they come to the surface, they can seem scary. It may be that you dream of doing something, but feel it’s not possible. You might disappoint people, or you feel you’re not good enough. Maybe you feel like you’d need to get more education first or that it’s not realistic given your current life situation.

Here’s the thing though…you came into this life with a unique Sacred Path. Everything from your DNA to your life experiences have been moving you in that direction. If you resist, you may find yourself in an out of balance situation. A health, relationship, emotional, or financial crisis.

A Los Angeles, CA trauma doctor, Dr. Sriram Shamasunder, had this to say after observing people in the midst of serious health crises:

“If the soul is ignored long enough, the body rebels. A mass in the throat rises to the surface of the skin. A cavity in a lung riddled with tuberculosis starts to bleed. The body announces its existence.”

So why do we wait for the trauma to surface, before addressing unfulfilled desires of the soul? Let’s find out! We’ll talk about why this happens and how to develop the faith and confidence to march to the beat of your own drum.

Reason #1 – Fear of Separation from the Pack

Studies have shown that one of our biggest fears is separation from the pack. This is first chakra – safety, security, family, community. Since ancient times, one of the biggest threats to individuals is excommunication. One of the worst punishments for a crime was forcing an individual to leave the community and go out into the world on their own. This is primal conditioning. For this reason, we are wired to try to fit in and be liked and approved by others. Going way beyond instilling fear for committing a crime, this fear has seeped into our consciousness and often stops us from doing something unique. And yet, you came here with a unique path and purpose, so how do you honor this?

One way is to practice self-love, self-acceptance, and feeling safe. Louise Hay has given us many affirmations to support you in this:

“I love myself and it’s safe to be who I really am.”

“I am safe following my dreams.”

“It’s safe to be different. I march to the beat of my own drum.”

“I attract people who love and support me just as I am.”

The truth is, most creative and successful people feel like oddballs. And yet, it’s the oddballs who give us permission and inspiration to be who we are as well. Why don’t we know this? Check Reason #3 for some insight.

Resolving unfulfilled desires of the soul allows you to start a rite of passage that indigenous people used to do with youth passing into adulthood. This rite of passage asks you to find out who you are and what you came here to do. And honors whatever that is. This is a critical success factor for health and wellbeing.

Reason #2 – Not Trusting Your Inner Wisdom (Going Outside Yourself or Asking Other People)

Okay, I’ve been there. When you’re not sure what to do, it’s normal and natural to ask others. We are taught to look to experts – teachers, doctors, parents, gurus, psychics. We feel like they know something we don’t. The truth is, no one can know exactly what you need. Experts are wonderful, but remember…when it comes to your life, your heart, your soul, only you know what you really need. At some point, you have to take a step in a direction fueled by you.

In Native American medicine, there is a teaching that you learn from others and then develop your own “who am I.” Your own vision, values, and sacred path. At any given moment, following your own path or setting your own boundaries may disappoint someone else. The more you honor that this is how life works, the less you worry about following your own path. And listening to your own needs for self-care or taking the steps in the direction of your own values.

Here are some tips to learn to listen to and trust your inner guidance:

Get Curious: If You’re Energetically Sensitive, Psychic, Or Highly Sensitive, Pay Attention!

We are all subject to something psychologists call “social contagion.” This is where we can feel how others feel – and be influenced by it. Some of you can even pick up on physical symptoms, emotions, or the energy of places, animals, or the unseen. If this describes you, it’s incredibly important to stay present when you feel things. Ask yourself if the feeling or symptom is yours or someone else’s. Don’t immediately rush to judgment or try to make the feeling go away. Feel into it with curiosity.

If the symptom, emotion or feeling is yours, again, stay with the curiosity. If you keep trying to fix everything you deem negative, you will stop listening and learning how life speaks to you. You’ll start seeking a way to numb every feeling that comes in. Instead of looking at symptoms, feelings, and trauma as a crisis, see if you can become curious. Ask life what it wants you to know. Ask Life/Creator/God/Source to be led to what’s in alignment with your greatest good. Avoid feeling like you need an iron-clad plan. Trust the process of life and creator-energy to guide you with each step as it’s needed.

If you are having trouble with picking up other people’s energy, overwhelm, chronic stress, anxiety, depression, or fatigue, you may be deficient in minerals. Our caller on the show found that 40,000 Volts (a wide base of liquid minerals with extra magnesium and potassium) helped relieve the anxiety she was feeling. Another great option is Anderson’s Sea MD (a wide base of minerals with extra magnesium, but not extra potassium). Why choose one over the other? If you have orthostatic intolerance, dizziness upon changing positions, or any other symptoms upon changing positions, or if you have severe fatigue in the morning or after exercise, you may do best with 40,000 Volts. Talk to your health practitioner and get an HTMA (Hair Tissue Mineral Analysis) to get clear about what will benefit you most.

Trust Your Signals

When you get a symptom, sense, feeling, emotion or life situation that feels like a signal, trust it. When you have a dream that feels meaningful, don’t dismiss it! If you continue to doubt yourself, it will always derail your ability to trust your intuition. Intuition speaks in signals, symptoms, emotions, situations…it’s a creative message, not something you can read in a book or have verified by scientific studies. Practice asking, listening, trusting and following the signals you get in your life and then write down what happens! Keep a journal to remember how your body and life are speaking to you. Write down how many times your body guides you well! Sometimes you won’t know for a long time, so go back to your journal and celebrate when the time comes.

Be Willing to Dabble

This goes with the two points above. If you don’t know the answers about what you came here to do or if you aren’t sure if you’re ready to move forward with it, be willing to dabble and try things out. Have fun with it, remember, you’re just dabbling!

Use the Buddhist Practice of Remembrance

You are always connected to Universal intelligence or the unseen web that connects all things. In this practice, you tap into your inner, subconscious wisdom by changing the paradigm of figuring something out. When you try to figure something out, you are often feeling like you don’t know the answer and that’s what gets you stuck! Instead, imagine you are remembering something you already know!

I loved how Dan Brown, author of the novel Angels and Demons, had his brilliant scientist character, Vittoria Vetra talk about how she solves difficult problems:

“Rather than asking her mind to search for a solution to a potentially impossible challenge, Vittoria asked her mind simply to remember it. The presupposition that one once knew the answer created the mindset that the answer must exist… thus eliminating the crippling conception of hopelessness.”

Here’s something to keep in mind: your brain can get really creative when you’re under stress or trauma, but not if you get stuck in fear, doubt, or hopelessness. You can instead, harness the tension of the situation to go deep and trust the inner wisdom that guides you.

Get Quiet

In a recent Harvard Business Review article (The Busier You Are, the More You Need Quiet Time) they found that silence is key to creativity, health, and problem-solving. Creativity is akin to intuition. Answers come from the unseen and make themselves known in interesting ways.

“Recent studies are showing that taking time for silence restores the nervous system, helps sustain energy, and conditions our minds to be more adaptive and responsive to the complex environments in which so many of us now live, work, and lead. Duke Medical School’s Imke Kirste recently found that silence is associated with the development of new cells in the hippocampus, the key brain region associated with learning and memory.”

Meditation, remembering your dreams, and keeping a dream journal can be helpful ways to get quiet, remove the chatter and “shoulds,” and listen to your inner wisdom. Consider meditating or doing dream visualizations while you’re still in the dream state – just as you awaken. This allows you to tap into the unseen or subconscious energy and find creative answers.

If you aren’t remembering your dreams, you could be low in vitamin B6! Many of my clients have found that correcting a deficiency in B6 brings back their ability to enjoy and recall their dreams.

Reason #3 – Feeling Not Good Enough

Everyone, no matter how smart, rich, or accomplished, feels like they’re not good enough at times. Often, this belief comes from messages we’ve received from others. Parents, teachers, the media, friends, you name it. This is one of the biggest reasons you avoid following your Sacred Path. Let’s make this year the year to let it go!

Here are some of the common negative beliefs that stop you from doing what your heart wants:

  • I’m not smart enough
  • My dream isn’t exciting enough
  • I’m not ready
  • I don’t have the education, training or experience I need
  • Someone else is already doing it better
  • I haven’t been able to do it in the past
  • My parents, friends, husband, kids told me I shouldn’t
  • They’ll stop loving me if I…

This year, take a break from media, commercials/ads, and social media. These forms of media are designed to make you feel bad about yourself. There is a teaching in psychology that love doesn’t motivate you to buy things, only hate or low self-esteem does. For decades, studies have shown that media, and in particular, advertisements, are designed to make you feel less than so you’ll buy the product being advertised. New studies are showing that social media – with all the rules for likes, photo editing tools, and algorithms, are designed in the same way, thus lowering self-esteem and happiness. Many psychologists are saying social media is fueling depression, addiction, and social conformity. All things that stop you from following your Sacred Path!

Reason #4 – Yeah, But’s (Something is Always in the Way)

How often have you said, “Well, I’d do it but….”? The yeah but’s, or things we think of as “reality” have no place in the exercise of discovering unfulfilled desires of the soul or your true vision. A vision is a dream of who you want to be and what you truly want to do. It’s tapping into the unseen – your right brain, your heart, your gut – all the brain tissue that is tapped into who you really are. The yeah but’s come from your LEFT brain, the part of your brain that follows the rules and wants to fit in with everyone else. Your left brain is where your fear and stress are. So if you’re getting worried, feeling fear or doubt, you can be sure you’re in your left brain. To access creativity, it’s important to remove the “realities” and the “yeah but’s” and give yourself a chance to dream about what you’d do, how you’d feel, who you’d be if you already had everything you needed and nothing was in your way.

Reason #5 – Not Following the Energy

You’ve heard the saying, “everything is energy,” right? Energy is actually a great signal for your intuition. Energy can present itself as feelings, for example, if someone asks you if you want to do something and you suddenly feel exhausted, it’s a great signal that it’s not right for you. If you are thinking about something and you feel excited and energized, it’s a good signal that you are going in the right direction.

On top of this, take your life circumstances. Some things feel easy, effortless, and magical. You might say, “wow, this just feels right.” This is life showing you-you’re on the right path. If things feel hard, frustrating, and terrible, it might be a good time to step back and ask yourself, “what’s going on here, what does life want me to know?”

Energy works in mysterious ways, but it’s always guiding us. How it guides you will be different from how it guides others, so pay attention to how the energy of your life is guiding you. Focus on trusting it and see how you feel. It’s often uncomfortable, so stick with it and give it a chance!

The winter season is a good example. In Chinese medicine, it’s water element, a time to rest and dream after all the hard work of the fall harvest. Our ancestors would be indoors in front of a fire, reading books, telling stories, and going to bed early. They’d take the time to rest their adrenals and kidneys, our two organs of energy, according to Chinese medicine. It’s a time to dream about what’s next – or, the dream before the plan and the work. This rest and renewal of water element is dismissed in our modern 24/7 culture. We have electricity and technology and demands to keep going! What would happen if you honored the season and your body’s cry for rest? This is following the energy.

Reason #6 – Not Being Clear About What You Want

There’s an old saying from Alice in Wonderland: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any path will take you there.” It’s a great reminder that you can get lost in wandering around and never getting where your heart wants to go.

If you don’t know what you want or where you want to go, there’s a good reason. Most of us have been taught to follow the rules and do what we’re told. You might also get caught up in the mistaken belief that if you pick a path, all other paths will be closed to you. This happens when you have a lot of interests and want to do them all! However, focusing on one thing at a time, especially when it’s a big dream, can be the best way to get and stay clear about what you want and where you’re going.

Success experts will tell you that in order to get what you want, a critical success factor is to be clear about what it is that you want. Now, this isn’t easy if you’re dealing with all of the issues outlined above. However, once you’ve started working on the solutions to each of them, it gets easier to see clearly – or feel clearly – what you really want.

The more you make the practices in this article part of your daily routine, the easier it is to listen to your inner wisdom, to move in the direction of your greatest good, and to trust who you are and what you came here to do. And you deserve that!

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Tune in Next Week

Tune in next week to 21st Century Medicine Woman, when I am joined by Louise Hay’s former esthetician and holistic skin health expert, who will reveal skincare secrets for healthy, beautiful, youthful skin. Do you have dry, aging, or acne-prone skin? Have you been wondering how to choose clean, healthy products that don’t clog your pores? This episode is for you!


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As a coach, writer and recovered former executive, I understand the challenges of creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle when over-scheduled. In my journey to radiant health, I created a whole health system of eating, exercise, renewal and recharging -- a roadmap toward health & vitality. I empower clients to create their own whole health systems, in their own unique ways. I have seen amazing results in working with my clients!